Asides

“I Do. I will. Yes please.”

So, it’s been a aaaagggeees since I last wrote a post because my life has literally been turned upside down, for the best though. I’m not going to go into details about the journey, even in this world some things should remain private. Well, some things will remain private if you’re lucky enough! Basically this is, without trivializing anything in any way at all, the last six months of my life;

Met a boy
Fell in love with him
He fell in love with me
We moved in together
We got new jobs
He asked me to marry him
I said ‘Yes’, well more like “f*&k yes!”
We booked our wedding.

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See, so I have been quite busy what with all this falling in love and being happy. In case you don’t know, I’m 36. Okay, very nearly 37. It is never too late to find real happiness with someone. I never thought that I would. I never believed for a second that there was someone so suited to me as he is. What I think is so important about meeting someone at this stage in our lives (he’s 6 years older than me) is that we both have different stories to tell. Our lives have come together as one, but our pasts are so different. It’s important to embrace your past experiences but never ever let them control or dictate your future. Look forward to the exciting times that you can have together and the new memories that you will definitely make.

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As I saw in the New Year of 2016 I raised my glass, as I always have done, to “a better year”. Hoping that this year something would change in my life for the better. I had no idea at the time what I hoped that change would be. I was probably thinking career or money wise. However, the change that did come is far far more fortuitous than anything else could ever be. I feel far richer than I ever have and I smile from the inside now. You know that feeling right? When you really feel that smile from deep down inside you. It’s not a smile that starts at your face, but it ends up there. That kind of smile.

 

The Wedding Plans Begin

We knew we wanted a low key wedding, not in a church and nothing ridiculously formal. Every location we found on the internet was a full package. The ones where you have to have everything they offer you. From the napkins and table cloth to the flipping knife that you cut the cake with! What is that all about?? The prices were outrageous for something we didn’t even want. They sold these venues to us in ways I am sure some couples would fall in love with, just not us. The concept of me being the centre of attention made me feel a bit sick actually. For me getting married is about actually getting married to the man that I love. Nothing else was more important to me.

After not much of a search at all, in fact, the very first and only venue we went to look at, we found it. We found the absolute perfect place for us to get hitched.

We pulled up outside on a rainy afternoon. It was incredibly rainy, perhaps classed as torrential. As we sat in the car outside the pub we both looked at each other disappointingly. It wasn’t what we were hoping for. We thought about just driving away and cancelling our appointment but something made us go and have a look anyway. Just to see how bad it was.

The moment we walked through the door we both knew. I had never been there before, and neither had he, but we both knew. I had an enormous feeling of familiarity and I just knew at that second that this was the place we would be getting married. I don’t want to give too much away yet at this point but seriously I could not have hoped to have found anywhere more perfect than this. Our wedding venue.

Whatever it is that you have in mind for your ‘perfect day’, keep looking. Keep hoping. Never give up and never give in. I’m not referring to the venue of your wedding here, but your partner, your soul mate, your one true love, your lobster!

…To be continued

A Thousand Masks

Do not for one second be fooled,

For I wear a thousand masks

And not one of them is real.

When you see strength, I am cracked.

When you see light, I am the night.

When you see pleasure, I am destroyed.

For each mask is merely a layer,

That cannot be removed.

Each day I long for you to discover,

The truth of my very soul,

But as night falls I realise,

That I remain hidden from you still.

So I will continue with this lie,

That I live from dawn until dusk.

Being the strength, the peace keeper,

The brave, the loving and the fearless.

Do not for one second be fooled,

For I wear a thousand masks

And not a single one of them is real.

Rookie Avenger.

Je Suis Paris

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I am writing this blog post out of respect and love for all of those who lost their lives on Friday. For all of their family and friends who’s lives will never ever be the same again. For all of those living in Paris who’s city has been devastated. For every single person who has been affected by terrorist attacks. My thoughts and heart are forever with you all.

Friday night for me was much like many of those innocent victims. I went to a concert with my friends and family. Simple. A great night out. As I left Wembley Arena I pondered for a second why the Wembley Arch was light up in the red, white and blue of the instantly recognisable tricolour. I safely walked back to my hotel and sat back to relax on my bed. I munched on my Pringles and reached for my phone to glance at the drunken pictures I had taken. I clicked on the Facebook icon and my body went cold, grasping for the tv remote and flicking straight to BBC1. The sickness in my stomach sobered me immediately as the events unravelled before me. I can’t get my head around what has happened just under three hundred miles from me. I can’t stop thinking about those in particularly who were at the concert, just like I was, a few hundred miles away at the same time. I can’t really write much more than this because I just do not know what to say. But I feel it is also important to remember that these terrorists are not the people that you and I know. They are not following Islam and they are not refugees seeking shelter. They are terrorists. The reports that they are sneaking through the borders amongst refugees is a huge problem but please remember that the genuine refugees are fleeing exactly that fear in their own country. I don’t know what the answer is but we have to remember that standing together, country with country, shoulder to shoulder with refugees is the only thing that we can do.

Paris, my heart breaks for you.

My soul weeps for you.

My tears flow for you.

For the City of Love will always be just that.

Je Suis Paris.

Solidarity.

Pray for Paris.

xxx