When I was a kid I wanted to be C.J. Parker. You know, Pamela Anderson’s character in Baywatch. I was twelve years old and the only reason I can think of is because she got to spend all day on the beach, and she got to hang around with Hobie, who I had a bit of a crush on.
I also wanted to be Jet from Gladiators because she was a beast on those hanging rings!
I wanted to be Kelly Kapowski because Zack Morris was The hottest boy on the planet back then. Until she left him for Jeff, who was in my opinion, even hotter! I’ve just had a major flashback to that episode. The song. “How am I supposed to live without you…”
When I got a bit older I wanted to be Denise Van Outen. She got paid to lie on a bed with some big celebs which sounded like a pretty perfect job to me back then.
As an adult I have also wanted to be several people:
Rose Tyler obviously because she gets to travel through time and space with David Tennant, my Doctor.
Kylie. I don’t think I even need to explain why I wanted to be this tiny pop princess.
J.K. Rowling because she has absolutely captured the imaginations of so many people with her ability to put in to words the ideas in her head.
Jessica Ennis-Hill because she is one of the finest athletes and has shown undenieable strength through the years.
Chloe Madeley because she works so hard at what she does and looks amazing but also because she takes a lot of shit from certain “journalists” and deals with it perfectly.
Believe me, I still hugely admire these people but I have come to realise something over the past few months. I don’t want to be someone else. Because I am not someone else. I am me. I am the absolute best person in the world at being me. No one can beat me at being me. I am everything I work for, everything I strive for and everything that I push for. I am the only person that sees my dreams and the only person that breathes my breath. I am the only person on this entire planet that my heart beats for and my blood pumps for. I only ever see life through my own eyes. My kidneys only filter my own blood and my feet only walk in my own steps. Ultimately, my body is only working for its own benefit, not the benefit of anyone else. My voice, if I control it, only speaks the words that it wants to say and no one else hears through my ears or feels the sensation when I rub my own finger tips together.
I am me and I am proud of that. It is irrelevant what others think of me because they are not me. I can improve my body and my mind to become even more me, but I can never be anyone else and I don’t want to be any more.
Embrace who you are and work with yourself. Yourself will thank you in the end!
Do you really want to be someone else or are you mistaking this for wanting to be a better version of you?